


Thinking

by AKA (TyeDyeBoogers)



Series: Lulias Inspired [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Wizardess Heart+
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 05:56:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6272518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyeDyeBoogers/pseuds/AKA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when you think too much. What exactly goes through their minds when let to their thoughts. Its always been said that thinking is a dangerous pastime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off two amazing other fics [Things Unspoken](http://gedonelune-romance.tumblr.com/post/138032157579/49-nightfall-lulias-thanks) and [Boundaries](http://gedonelune-romance.tumblr.com/post/138081075294/boundaries) by Gedonelune-Romance which are fantastically awewsome and you should probably go read them first.

As the door clicked quietly closed behind him he felt every ounce of the myriad feelings swirling so confusingly inside. The sun shone down brightly making him squint. Affecting his lackadaisical slouch Luca walked away, in a slow measured pace to appear unaffected in any way. It wasn't long before he was encompassed by the cool shade of the trees. The East Forest welcomed him. Luca didn't stop walking until everything was trees, only the hint of blue sky blocked sporadically by the leaves, the fields of the Academy left far behind. It was then he stopped. 

Luca slumped against a thick tree, the closest to where he stood, sliding down it when his legs said 'no' the rough bark scratching him through his uniform though this garnered little notice, his mind swirling and his heart aching. The place on his arm where Elias had laid his hand tingled as if his body wanted him to remember how good it felt. How good it felt, having Elias care, how it made his heart pound even though there was this whole confusing mess between them, his body betrayed his mind. It was fucked up and messy and his heart wanted it, but he knew that was never going to happen. It was Elias Goldstein for God's sake. Perfect Prince Goldstein. 

Then he remember how it had hurt when Elias' eyes fell to the bruises on his neck, the hickies ( one would not dare call them love bites, there was no love in their making) left behind by a possessive mouth nights ago on the fountain, the emotions that flashed in those purple eyes felt like a hammer to the solar plexus, painfully knocking the breath out of him. The bruises hurt, a dull little ache, easily forgotten but in that moment he felt them again more so than when they'd been made. He became consciously aware of the stolen feel of his lip from that session in the closet between classes (He'd actually attended that day) every little insecurity screaming out 'notice me' in the very way he didn't want. Luca never wanted Elias to know. 

What was he doing with Azusa? Even he wasn't so sure. In essence it was simple bodily pleasure, that essential need for contact and stimulation. There was something dark and alluring about the hinomoto native. Something intoxicating. And yet, there was repulsion. A feeling that made you want to run in the other direction. Luca felt it every time he was with the other boy. Even so, Azusa could kiss. He was good at it, and that made it easier to ignore, that feeling. Being with Azusa made it easier to ignore a lot of things. 

After all they say ignorance is bliss, but true ignorance would feel better. The time with Azusa only blocked everything for a while but when he was alone in his room late at night, he couldn't forget. Alone led to thinking too much. Too much thinking then to understanding, realize things he'd never wanted to actually know. Like feelings, or why exactly his knees felt weak when he went to take a shower and he could tell Elias had been the last because the whole room smelled of him, how his heart beat faster at only thoughts and galloped in his presence. If only he didn't think, he wouldn't know what it all meant. 

If only he didn't know how he felt. 

Azusa made things simple. No, he didn't trust Azusa, that would be insane. Azusa had given him nothing to trust but the same could be said about himself, just as he'd told Elias. He was hiding the truth from everyone, even so. He knew there was something off about the other, there was a violence lurking beneath the surface. It showed itself in his actions, rough and angry but pleasurable. Not love. Luca didn't want love, not from Azusa. 

He drew his knees up to his chest, folding his arms on top, curling in on himself. Alone with his thoughts. The feelings pounding in his chest. Thinking too much. Feeling too much. Hurting too much. 

\- 

Cool fingers slipped like water over Luca's shoulder startling him. He jolted up snapping his head into the tree with a solid thunk that ached. His green eyes met the cold ice blue gaze above him. 

"Have you been waiting long?" Azusa Kuze asked pulling back his hand. He watched as Luca unfolded and stood before him. Luca looked the same as always, unperturbed and slightly mischievous. 

"No," Luca quirked his lips leaning back against the tree. Not welcoming the body that pressed into him but not rejected it either. The answer had been a blatant lie, the color of the sky having darkened but Azusa didn't seem to care his lips colliding harsh and demanding with Luca's. 

This is the way that it a always way with them. No talking, just touching. No thinking. 

Which was exactly what Luca wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elias's Side

Elias sat in the library staring blankly at the open text in front of him. He didn't get it. Why Luca would willingly participate in that. Why wouldn't Azusa back off. Just what was happening here? 

What did Azusa mean? 

Elias dropped his face to the desk pressing it into the book breathing in the calming smell of its old parchment and ink. It did little calming however. Elias' heart thundered in his chest as his thoughts whirled and collided, circled around an lead back to one question. 

Why do I feel like this? 

One hand rose to grip at his chest, curling into the fabrics of his uniform. The hard beating of his heart could be felt through his fingers. Elias made a noise in the back of his throat. Disparaging himself. Why would Azusa say something like that? He didn't even like Luca, He hated Luca, didn't he? No. No, that wasn't quite true anymore. Things had changed recently. 

That night he caught them a pain lanced his heart. An indescribable, unwanted feeling. That night back in his room, he lay awake for hours thinking. Thinking but not understanding. Feeling and hurting but not understanding. 

For a while now, his heart had done funny acrobatics when confronted with Luca. A strange feeling rising in him at the thought Luca might be in class. When the new girl showed up Luca went out of his way to appear each morning, Elias' heart leaped. No, it didn't, Elias shook his head trying to dislodge the thought. And it certainly didn't hurt when Luca lavished his attention on the girl, and not on Elias like he always had before. These strange feelings... 

Elias sat back in his chair with a loud groan, startling as he remembered where he was even though alone. He didn't get shush but the sound of his groan seemed to echo in his ears in the absolute silence of the Library. 

The clock chimed the hour startling Elias, had that much time really passed as he waffled his thoughts? Rushing he bundled up his books and hurried out of the library. 

Elias approached the door, to the boys dorm at a hurried walk the deeply darkening sky stealing away the light and letting all know that curfew was almost there. He waved his wand muttering the unlocking incantation to slip inside before he got caught being tardy when a movement caught his attention from the side of his eye. A flash of green? 

Luca appeared from the darkness with the suddenness of a ghostly apparition, sending shockwaves into Elias' heart. The Older boy was adjusting his cloak, his ridiculously gaping shirt stretched wide open with the movements the few buttons struggling to hold the shirt together. Even in the dim glow of dusk Elias could see the mess of bruises peppering the others skin. The cluster on his neck was growing, it seemed another had joined the older ones. Several more were scattered across the bared expanse of his chest. Did Elias see bruises on the others angular hips as the shirt lifted with the others fingers trying to coax it back into place. 

Elias gaped hidden in the darkness having been unnoticed by the other, Luca being too distracted in his effort to right himself he had not paid attention. It was in that moment with Elias standing slack-jawed unknowable emotions in his eyes that Luca looked up gaze locking with the blond. There was a vulnerability on his elegant face for a bare moment before a hardness cast his face in shadows. The shutters closed and the real Luca was hidden. The bottom dropped out of Elias' stomach and he felt sick, as everything inside him just seemed to fall out. 

They stood there staring at one another for an eternity squeezed into a few seconds. 

The soft clicking of shoes on the cobblestone pathways of the garden broke the silence moments before a tall dark figure loomed out of the black, his uniform helping him melt into the shadows of night, but those icy blue eyes so cool and calculating gleamed like evil in the dark. 

"Is there something wrong with the door?" The newcomer asked, he shrewd eyes surveying the scene. 

"I-I...uh, what?" Elias was at a loss for words, gaping now at the exchange student. Azusa just gestured to the door behind the blond and the fact that they were standing outside. Luca broke free first striding past Elias waving his wand and disappearing inside, followed by Azusa. There was a sweep of warm golden glow as the door opened for the two other boys before the darkness resurged seeming darker now. Elias stood, lost in every sense of the word. He didn't move until the dorm father's voice rang sharply into the night, spurring his movement. 

Even then he was just going through the motions: walk inside, listen (but not really) to the rant, go to room, change clothes, get in bed, lie there awake for hours and hours. Feel his heart beat painfully as he remembered the scene knowing, just knowing, that they had been together. Luca and Azusa had been together before, that the not subtle 30 second count between their departures to make it seem like they hadn't been but in all actuality it only made it more obvious. There was an ugly feeling inside of him as he lay there not even pretending to sleep, a feeling in which he had the creeping realization that he was jealous. 

Not the he's-better-than-me-and-I-don't-like-it jealousy but the jealousy of someone who finally recognizes why they feel that way. The kind where someone now grasps what the unspeakable everything means. 

It broke over him like a wave, cleansing the confusion from every inch of his being. It washed away the nonsense, the uncertainty, the broken and whirling thoughts. The questions were answered. Elias finally understood. 

Elias in that moment knew what love felt like.


End file.
